Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Beautiful Failures

I have begun to detect a sad pattern in my miserable existence on this planet. It seems I am a champ at picking beautiful failures. I am sitting here, on my ass, watching my SECOND team of the day fail. One of them has already failed in most spectacular fashion, and the wheels are very rapidly coming off my second team as I type. This has been dominated by weeks of my team(s) failing. Every weekend it seems I endure another team of mine failing. Sometimes I have multiple failures a day (like today), sometimes they all fail in a seven day period. They are just fucking failures, and truth be told, are not really beautiful failures. Failing, after a certain number of years, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It has gotten so bad, that at the start of any game in which my team is playing, the sense of doom from the beginning is overwhelming. A certain inevitability pervades my senses as I watch my team fail, and they fail in everything. Soccer, hockey, football, horse racing, and basketball, it seems that I must be a jinx. If I root for you, you are born to lose, and destined to fail. I should call teams and threaten to become a fan of them unless they pay me a large amount of money not to, sort of a fan blackmail. I am a jinx, I will make your team fail by rooting for them, so pay me not to root for them if you want to succeed. The sad part of it is that I know this. I know, before I park my ass down to watch my team, that they are going to fail. And yet, here I am still watching. You would think I would learn my lesson, and just give up, but it seems I am either a) loyal, b) stupid, c) optimistic, or d) fucking retarded. Perhaps it is some odd combination of all of the above, but this is awful, just plain awful. This is like rooting for Custer against the Indians. There is absolutely no hope, no chance of anything other than being crushed like a bug. I feel like a boxer that just keeps getting knocked down by some better fighter, and just keep getting back up. Someone should come in here and throw in the towel for my own good. Clearly I am too stupid to just "stay down." This is like a train wreck that has been hit by a tornado in the middle of a hurricane. It is just plain ugly it has gotten so bad that reading the sports page is worse than reading the obituaries. I hope that this post (whine) get my point across. I have read nine books this year already, and started number 10 last night, just to try and stop the madness. I think maybe I just need to cut my cable, and become totally cut off from the wide world of sports. All of this is to say, that for today February 17th, there is no hero of the day.

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