Thursday, December 28, 2006


Not really gravity, but more along the lines of universal gravitation or if you like simply

Every single point mass attracts every other point mass by a force heading along the line combining the two. The force is proportional to the product of the two masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between the point masses.

This is truly the force that binds the stars, moves the earth around the sun, and is the power behind the tides. It is what keeps us constantly trying to fall to the center of the Earth. It is what attracts us, in a fundamental way, to every other thing in the universe. According to Sir Isaac it is a force something that does not think, breathe, or have a sense of fashion. We rarely think about it except when we a) drop and break something or b) when, after too many pints, we find the floor by looking up over our shoulder. It is relentless and ruthless, do not appeal to gravity's sense of justice, do not beg it for mercy. It is not good, it does not need justice; It is not evil, it does not need to be merciful. It simply just IS, and a lot of very bright people have spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. They come up with complex formulas, and whole new theories just to explain why planet A is acting a damn fool and orbiting planet B in such an erratic fashion. It reminds us that hitching our wagon to any particular star may led to quite unexpected, and unintended results.

Monday, December 18, 2006

A Plea

No this is not a guilty plea, I will save that for when I really need it. This is a plea from a life long agnostic to be allowed to live in peace. Obviously, Christmas is not a big time in the life of an agnostic for several reasons. People try to say that Christmas is not all about religion, but about other things. Well, news flash people! It is supposed to be the "birthday" of your saviour. For fuck's sake how more religious can you get? Even if all this gift giving crap is not based on religion, I have another problem with it. I am a minimalist, I am not a huge fan of "stuff" the majority of the things I "own" are books. Lucky for me I can afford to buy my own books, in fact I have about 25 books in my possession that I have not read yet. I am pretty set for books. Any other gift I do not need. You know why I can say I do not need it? Because I do not already have it. If I need it I buy it. I do not like getting gifts. I certainly do not celebrate Christmas as either a religious or economic holiday. All I ask is for some of this so-called Christian understanding and love crap. After all, I have been in churches (usually against my will), and respectfully bowed my head at "prayer" time. I did not cause a scene, or jump up and start disputing the bible with the Christian in charge. All I ask, and it seems to be too much to ask, is for the same respect. I respect (though sometimes mock) your beliefs. I am not a convert them or fuck them type of agnostic. Believe what you want, the fact that you are wrong (in my opinion) should not dissuade you from holding your beliefs. If it does then you were not that serious in the first place. All I want is similar respect. I do not believe in god, do not take it personally, I probably do not believe too much in you. I do not ask you to share, understand, or convert to my way of thinking. Please do not expect or ask me to throw away 25 years of solid thinking on this subject just so I can get a fucking gift that I did not want or need.

P.S. If you insist on trying to give me a gift which makes me unhappy and is borderline disrespectful, give money to a charity in my name (I suggest Amnesty International), that way you can take a tax deduction.

Friday, December 15, 2006

A Stone

Take a line, any line, from anywhere, a poem, a song, a death threat, a movie, or a really bad novel. Take that line, use that line to the best of your ability. Make that line YOUR line. Use it as the foundation of your next big idea. BE the line, LIVE the line, and make the line come alive. Somewhere in that line lies part of your life, a part that you might not even have been aware of until you heard the line for the first time. Nevertheless, there it is in a moment of sheer imagination and creation your life writ large by a line SOMEONE else bloody wrote. Still, you can recover your balance, and use this line to good effect it is just going to take a little bit of effort.
Warm laughs, lovely words whispered and meant, and rough skin. You like all of these things, but, you really love a stone. Because it is smooth, cold, and you really want to be told that it is all your own. Your own personal stone. To make your own, to do with what you want, and to make it yours. You have shifted a lot of dross to find this stone make sure it is the right size, shape, and sharpness. This is a stone that has seen a lot of things, some of them sublime, some of them absurd. While you were picking pebbles out of a drain, this stone was being formed by forces, about which you, in your wildest imagination, you can only speculate. Do not allow yourself to shoulder the blame for this stone, do not shout names at flickering screens because of this stone. Don't phone your friends, or go fucking insane. Don't overstate your case make it simple. Stones are simple things. Nothing too damn complex about a stone. You know this, you watch the Science Channel, they have not run a twelve part series explaining the complex nature of STONES. This stone has WEIGHT, it is dark, and can dream. This stone dreams of being the keystone above the gates of a castle where a towering queen with a lovely daughter lives. This daughter would be lovely, stubborn, and brave. This stone would know the bitter dismay of suitors that brought presents to lay at her feet, all the typical desires of your typical queen's daughter. Things that make people gasp in shock, and coo in delight. These suitors would be pleased to fall at her knees, to post her decrees, to name all of her city's streets. However, she loves a stone, and being in love with a stone can cause some consternation, especially one would suspect, to the stone. Remember no one ever claims to be a stone.

Monday, December 11, 2006


They say timing is everything. Well I do not know who "they" are, but I certainly am not on board with that rule. I have impeccably bad timing. Now this is not a serious problem it is not like my bad timing affects the life or death of anyone or thing. It is just a simple fact. The major problem with my bad timing is simple. I (meaning my physical presence) simply tries to be in the same spot as something/someone else pretty much all the time. As you know this just simply cannot be; two things cannot occupy the same spot at the same time. However, someone needs to tell the rest of the world that. It does not matter what I am trying to do or when I am trying to do it. There will be SOMEONE else right there at the exact same time, attempting to do the exact SAMETHING. I could be trying to buy pickles in Louisville, Mississippi at 3 a.m. and lo! and behold! There would be at least one other person standing right there in the pickle aisle slowly trying to comprehend why in the world there they are there, and why there are so very many brands of pickles to chose from. All the while, there I am trapped behind this damn fool muttering foul words under my breath. You see if I could just get around you my pickle choice will only take about three seconds. This gift/curse is amazing. I can and have actually demostrated it upon demand. I pick a random place to walk into, and tell my amazed audience to watch and wait for that person who just suddenly has to be in the doorway of the room I am trying to enter, and are utterly befuddled as to why they are there, but they are certain it will come to them if they just stand in the doorway for a few more minutes. I only wish that somehow, someway I could profit from this curse/gift. I really think that one day I will suceed, and occupy the same place as something or someone else, and Newton's idea will be blown to hell. Stay tuned for a rip in the fabric of the universe

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Black Sheep

Though I would like to claim to be the only black sheep in my family, I fear that it isn't a completely true statement. After all, I had uncles that spent some time in the cozy dens of the state's custody. However, I suppose intellectually I do take honours for being the black sheep. I am the family's unknown boy, the one who ran off to the big city, and never came back. I do not plan on going back home again to rest. I do not plan on going home again at all. I suppose that the bright lights have seduced me beyond repair. I explained to my family that if they loved me they would let me live in peace to try understand that my time in the area in which all of them live has come to an end. They do struggle to comprehend why I would not want to come rushing back into the fold. This obstinate behaviour of mine has lead to some tension in the past, but I think/hope that they have come to peace with my decision. Besides, in this big city with the bright lights and big dreams is full of girls with faces fair that see the shine in the black sheep. Why on earth would I want to give that up? Even the black sheep can sometimes wear the golden fleece, and win a hand or two in the game of life.