Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Sinful Garden

There are going to be (at least) two threads to follow in this post, and I will do my best to have them make sense. Let's start somewhere closer to the beginning, and hope that it helps. In my job I get lied to a LOT. On pretty much a daily basis I get told a collection of whoppers that would do a village of fishermen proud. Most of these lies are told to me second hand, and usually, but not always, the person telling me the lie doesn't really believe it themselves. They are just doing there job(s). However, a couple of days (at least) a week I get the pleasure of getting lied to directly to my face. After about 5 and a half years of this, I have pretty much heard them all, and many times I just interrupt the liar and finish their lie for them. I mean, now days it has to be a pretty inventive lie to attract my attention.

It is a glimpse into the human race that does not show them in their best light, and I am quite certain that it contributes a great deal to my natural pessimism. It brings out my misanthropy as well, but hey what can you do? It's a living. It does have a small upside, I can now detect a lie in about four words, and a lot of times when I do this, I just stop the person in mid-lie, and walk away to the next liar err person. It has slightly improved my poker game because I can tell (a little more often) when my crazy friends are bluffing. Not much of an upside, but a little upside is better than none. This is the first thread, and it will (hopefully) make sense why I had to put it down in writing before I continued to the second thread, which is the real point of this post.

The second thread starts in bed, and no it isn't nearly as exciting as it sounds. After I tossed, and turned my way to (eventually) falling asleep last night, I began to dream (and for a change not about crows). I don't really remember much about the content of the dream, but luckily the content isn't really important to this story.
What is important is that I was having this detailed conversation with some fellow, and he was assuring me of something. I am not exactly sure what, but he swore up one side and down the other that he was telling me the gospel truth. No big deal, it is a dream after all, and I guess we can hope. The odd part comes when I woke up, which I did for about 30 seconds, just long enough to process what my dream was about, but not long enough to remember all the details. I fell back asleep, and my dream (oddly enough) picked up where I had left it, sort of like hitting the pause button.
However, sadly for me the second dream was slightly different. In the second dream, I was being presented with incontrovertible proof that the fellow in the first dream was lying to me. It was a grand production, and it was pretty obvious that dude had been lying. He was even there, sheepish grin on his face, not really denying his lies. Needless to say, but I will say it anyway, this upset me quite a bit, this betrayal upset me so much that I woke up from dream number two.
Now, I understand it was a dream, and a hazy one at that, but all I could reflect upon when I woke up the second time was that my life is so sad, that people are even lying to me in my dreams. I think a small part of the child inside me (which was pretty small to begin with) died with that realization.

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