Friday, September 03, 2010


In the geographical location I find myself, I see very little of the stuff above, and when it does comes it usually creates utter chaos. But, this is not a post about the weather, or about how my town grid locks when there is merely the IDEA that it will snow. No, this is a different kind of post, one that attempts to explain that after posting at least once a day for a year, I am not regulated back to one a week if I am lucky. Topics, or rather a dearth of them, are to blame, and even that statement is not entirely true. It is remarkable the lies we will tell ourselves, and others to explain our behavior when we really know the root cause, but are just too ashamed to admit to it.

That truth, the one that I don't like to admit to myself because it makes me looks even lazier that I actually am. Is that I have topics to post about. Almost daily I have an idea or a thought (I know that is a shock to some that know me) that I could, if I applied myself, turn into a reasonable blog post (not that a blog post is any great accomplishment). However, like most things that go pear shaped, these ideas usually come at the worst time. Sometimes they come to me in the middle of the day when I am doing about 5 other things that I don't really want to do, and have taken just a few moments to quietly stare off into space, other times they come to me as I am in the shower belting out show tunes at the top of my voice. But, by far, the most frequent time I get "brilliant" ideas is as I am lying (or is it laying?) in bed. Just as I am about to begin to drool the drool of remorse into the pillow of regret, WHAM! The idea lamp is lit, and I have the idea for my next blog post all worked out in my head. I am usually able to postpone sleep long enough to work out a few sentences of the post, but sadly when the alarm goes off in the morning the idea is long gone. Like snowflakes meeting sunlight it has melted away (or is it back?) into my subconscious (a terrifying place), and is as lost as last year's Easter Eggs never to return.

Since I generally haven't the slightly recollection of WHAT the idea was, I can not tell if it is a good or bad thing that the idea didn't survive until morning. All I know (usually) is I had the idea, and it seems like a good idea at the time (how many disasters have started with that phrase), but in the harsh light of the day arriving outside my window I got nothing. It is quite depressing, and I suppose I should keep pen and paper on my nightstand to jot down these earth shattering ideas while they are 'fresh'. However, that would require me having sense, which I clearly do not, and it also poses the (inevitable) problem of me writing some fantastic idea down in the middle of the night, and then being totally unable to decipher what that idea was in the morning due to horrible handwriting (or being drunk). I do suspect that, in the long run, most of these ideas are crap, and are better left in the graveyard of ideas into which they have disappeared, but even if one of them was good, then this blog, and my life is the poorer because of my bad memory.

1 comment:

Cynnie said...

i think i do love you ..asshat though you are