Sunday, March 07, 2010


The scrawny fellow above is one C. Montgomery Burns, and I am not sure when his actual birthday is, but since today is lacking in the "real" hero category Mr. Burns steps up to the hero podium. He is not the most cuddly, or well intentioned hero, but if you watch the Simpson's as much as I do, you will begin to appreciate Monty as a character. He is corporate greed personified, and spends a great deal of his time in his office "checking" on his employees via close circuit TV. The character was principally based upon Norwegian Fredrick Olsen, a reclusive shipping magnate and the owner of Timex. His body is based upon a praying mantis, and Monty is one evil dude. He has been described as pure evil, and the actor that does his voice, Harry Shearer, has called Burns his favourite character because of that trait. I guess if you are going to be evil you should be as evil as possible, strive to be the best in everything that you do, even if what you do is to try and crush the world. Monty is one rich fellow, his net worth has been calculated at $996 million, not bad for a man who is at least a hundred years old. His social security number has been given as 000-00-0002 (damn you Roosevelt). His trademark phrase is to tent his hands in front of him and mutter "excellent" in a low, sinister voice. He likes to "release the hounds" on unwanted (which is pretty much everyone) visitors to his palatial estate. That estate includes some really interesting objects, such as a model train that takes 3 hours and 47 minutes to complete its journey, and comes back with snow on it, a theatre that shows plays 24 hours a day, regardless if there is an audience or not, and a human chess board. These are just a few of the trapping of wealth that Monty has, and liked to use in order to do whatever he wants, when he wants to do it. He has been voted the 45th greatest villain of all time, not bad since he isn't "real." One of my favourite quotes of his is when his assistant Smithers asks for time off to produce a play in New Mexico, Burns responds with "hold on chief, there is a NEW Mexico." That quote shows how out of date his world view is, he still refers to Siam, and to the Belgian Congo. His driver's license expired in 1909, and he writes with a quill pen. However, despite of all these evils tendencies, he is one cool character, and it is for all of his quirks that C. Montgomery Burns (March 7th over a hundred years ago-present), you are my (193rd) hero of the day.

No comments: