Saturday, May 08, 2010

Triste

For reasons that are mostly my own, and therefore, not really important, and for other reasons that are other people's and therefore not my story to tell, today will be hero-less. It might not have started (or ended) that way, but these things happen. The one constant "person" in this little parade of heroes, and by extension a peek into the birdhouse that is my soul, is me. I am the one grunt that has staggered, drug himself to, or waddled to various keyboards in at least two different countries to write these sad little posts on a daily basis, and I am from from heroic. Today's list was pretty slim, but I am sure I could have put a square peg in a round hole, and provided at least one hero, but I am not up to that task today. Call for me tomorrow, perhaps I will be less of a grave man, and normal service on this hero stuff will be resumed. Even now as I write this particularly crappy post, I am thinking of how much differently it should have turned out. Perhaps that is what being a hero is, having one plan or goal in life, and due to events (that may or may not be beyond our control), realizing that plan B is now the way to go. I fear that I have no plan B, I am not sure I had a plan A. Which could be a small problem, life is probably (not that I would know) better if it is somewhat planned. I like plans, I do well with plans, and I used to think I was good at making plans. However, the last week or so has shown me the foolishness of that way of thinking. It appears I am not good at making plans, and I am shit at following plans. Maybe not being able to follow what is a shit plan is a virtue, but from where I am standing I can not see it. Yes, there is some simple minded, but obscure reason for this pity party of a post, but the window into the birdhouse of my soul is going to have to (by popular demand, and my own royal decree) remain closed to it. The reason is not really important, and I am sure tomorrow it will seem frivolous, or stupid, but for now that reason, vague as it may be, is the reason that I have to inform you (and not really with much regret) that for today, May 8th, there is no hero of the day.

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