Meal Time

I am not a skinny man, I have never been a skinny man. I was born fat, raised fat, and only got fatter as I got older. I have only lost any significant amount of weight twice in my life. The first time was about 2 and a half years ago, when a lovely doctor removed about a foot of my colon. That led to a 12 day stay in the hospital, the first 7 of which were without solid food of any kind. That little exercise cost me a foot of my colon and 25 pounds. I recommend it as a way to lose weight, however I don't recommend it as the best way. Unless of course you like having a rather longish scar to show off to people, if you do then go for it.

The second time I have lost significant weight has been more recent. I, and some co-workers joined WW (tm), and I have been following their "plan" for about six months. So, far I have lost about 45 pounds, which is good since I had gained back those 25 I lost earlier, and already had my own gravitational field. The items in the picture above are a close proximity to the food served at my local that helped make me such a tub of lard. They are called smothered tots, and they are the bomb. Especially at about 1 a.m when you have had just enough beer to be hungry for that second dinner you missed earlier. They are a sure fire way to fill you up, and probably make you gain five pounds on the spot. In the last six months I have had them, twice, and both times I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day. They were my splurge for the week, and god damn they were good. However, since I am still trying to lose weight (though I seem to have leveled off lately), they remain forbidden fruit.

But my longing for the those items has posed to me a question. Have you ever missed out on, or turned down a really good meal? I mean it might be home cooking, or if you are like me raised by a wolf that had the you kill your food theory of kitchen management, it might be something like smothered tots at a bar. Whichever type of food it is that strikes your fancy, have you ever walked away from it? Has it, at any time in your life, just not been worth it? Sure it is good, sure it is tasty, and you sure are fucking hungry, but they remorse you will feel after shoveling it in might just be worse right? I mean, clearly you have bellied up to this, and anything else that wouldn't eat you first, way too many times before. Which is why the seams in your pants are screaming for mercy to begin with.

Your love affair with food is just a bit too passionate, and your doctor can only shake his head in amazement that his scale has numbers that go that high when you lumber into his office for a visit. This relationship you have with food is unhealthy (at least for you), and since you are way too lazy to do any sort of "exercise", walking away from food is the only other answer. Sure it hurts, and sure you will be lying awake at night thinking 'what might have been', but unless you want to reinforce the bed springs, you need to be thinking about how good that apple tasted.

Sure walking away is difficult, but if you want to be able to walk away, and not be wheeled away on a gurney from the heart attack, or stretched off like a futbol player at the World Cup, then you really need to learn to walk away. Sometimes the candle just isn't worth the game, and realizing that, understanding that sure it tastes good, makes you feel good, and makes you happy (for the moment at least) in the long run it is only going to cause you untold amount of grief, and might kill you in the bargain. It is not a happy lesson, and as you munch on your tasteless salad you might curse the "fat gene" which you so obviously possess, but in the long run it is about making the right choice. Eat now, break the sofa when you lie down on it later, or skip the tots and just drink half the amount of calories in beer, that way you won't break the sofa, and even if you do, you will be too drunk to care.