Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Reunion

So it appears that next May it will 20 long years since I graduated from high school. Since we Americans are big fans of reunions and such I just got the "invitation" to "get the gang back together." What follows is my open letter to my former classmates.

Dear Ex-Classmates,

Yes, it is difficult to believe that it has been 20 years since we all graduated from ________ High School. Two decades that have seen the Berlin Wall come down, the Trade Center bombings, two wars in Iraq, and numerous other life changing events. I regret that I will not be attending the reunion. You see, I am not unable to attend quite the contrary I could be there in less than two hours, it is simply that I am unwilling to attend. Twenty years ago I was a goofy, dorky, confused 17 year old teen age boy with no clue as to what I was going to do with my life. Now, twenty years later, I am probably still a little goofy and dorky and probably more confused now than I was then. However, at this point in my life I can rest assured that seeing a group of people I did not like twenty years ago is something that I do not want or care to do. It is simple, most of you maltreated me then, and I have no desire to dredge up old sad memories of a life that ended twenty years ago. I would not piss on any of you if you were on fire. We were merely "friends" only because we happened to live in the same school "zone." I certainly would not choose any of you as friends today, and certainly do not want to waste any length of time pretending like I care what has happened in your life over the last twenty years. There is a reason that I did not keep in touch with you people. I do not like you it is just that simple. So, erase me from the "list" pull a Stalin and erase me out of any class photographs you may have. That is fine with me. I wish I could say that I wish you all the best, but truth be told, I really do not give a tinker's damn what happens to any of you. I moved away and on a long, long time ago. Please do not think that I ever want to see any of you again.

Sincerly,

The Grand Inquisitor

5 comments:

tideliar said...

Well, that's very sweet indeed. Certainly gets the point across, I must say.

The Grand Inquisitor said...

good i was worried that i wasnt beig clear enough :)

Anonymous said...

Nice! My 10 year is at the end of the month.

Camie Vog said...

I should have talked to you before my 20th came and went. I was going to go. I filled out their awful questionaire about my life and everything. I read my answers to my sister, who couldn't stop laughing. She asked me if I really wanted to attend the reunion in the first place, based on my answers to their questions. She said she wanted to go with me to watch my reactions to all of them. At that point, I decided reunions were meant for people with something to prove to their fellow classmates. I had nothing to prove to them, so I let it slip into the past, just like I did after I grabbed my diploma 20 years ago.
Excellent letter you have written. I hope you send it.

Lhonez said...

Hey, at least they invited you. I wasn't even invited to mine. lol