Yes, I know I have a habit of blogging about failed friendships. It is a gift. However, this does warrant its own post.
Dear M______,
It is with some degree of remorse and sadness that I respond to your last correspondence with bad tidings. You tell me that I blow hot and cold, that it is "too much work being my friend." These facts I do not dispute, they are for the most part true. It probably is a lot of work being my friend. I ask a lot of my friends. Truth, loyalty, honesty, and dedication being just a sampling of things I expect from my friends. However, in my defense, I do not ask anything that I am not willing to give. It may be hard to be my friend, but I think it is worth it. If you are my friend, I will go to the wall with/for you. Whatever you need just ask. If it is within my power to give it to you it is yours no questions asked, and no return of favour is expected. You and I have reached the logical conclusion to our friendship. No further discussion is necessary. We have known each other for almost 6 years. We have had our ups and downs, our good times and bad times. At this stage we have reached a down that is permanent in nature. No amount of tinkering can fix our friendship. It is broken beyond repair. You tell me I blow hot and cold, that is fine, that is your opinion, and I suspect it has some merit. Towards you, from now on, I am cold. Please do not test me on this. Someone who knew me long before you did, and in a similar way once told me that I was "the coldest person she had ever met." Do not make me prove it to you. From now on we are finished, we are not connected you and I, at no point do we touch. This is indisputable. I advise you to move on with your life, and I am sure you will. In the future when I think of you, if I think of you, it will be in the past tense. I wish I could say that I am sorry it ended this way, but honestly I am not. This is the path we both chose there is no need in denying it. I hereby declare a "break" with you. Relations between us have come to an end. Quite simply, we are done. We have "run our course," and no longer have anything to discuss. Bon chance.
5 comments:
aww..
thats a sad post.
We are a lot alike..and I'm so sorry .
Cynnie
sometimes it is the only thing one can do with friends, but it is also sad.
It is sad mostly because it is not clear there is no 'halfway friends' after being close... at least not for me...
and it isn't really that you are asking for more than giving in return. But I guess it is just to face the music, some people (lots actaully) don't want to give things in a relationship, they just want to get things.
Take care.
Nice Indian stalker dude, dude!
Anyway, "This is a dead parrot..."
Ah, I can relate with this post in so many ways. I've had so many friendships end this way. But many more have come from them, too.
You might find it long-winded (I do) but there are some good insights in Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay on friendship. There's even a nice short letter model in there if you dig deep enough.
http://www.accd.edu/nvc/areas/huma/pages/community_emerson.htm
(I sent the phrase "you delicious torment" to an old friend whom I won't lose, I think - but he hardly dares write to me anymore, although I told him it comes from that essay. Sigh.)
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