(the poor tradition continues a year later the continued part, sorry?)
As I sat down on the well placed (for me) bench and waited for Felix's little red pill to render me unconscious, I pondered how much he had been paid for this little hack job that he was pulling on me. Felix, according to him, is merely a dedicated public servant and is above such horrible vices as greed and a lust for material things. The thing about that is, is that it is apparently true. Felix is one of those most dangerous of men, a true believer. A bit of a fanatic, with the belief of whatever he holds dear written clearly on his face, and burning very brightly in his eyes. A dangerous type indeed, and one that I cannot fathom. Being as I don't believe in much of anything at least anymore, but that is a tale for another time.
As Felix had mentioned before his goons deposited me on this street like a sacrificial lamb, I had been to this neighborhood a few times before. Most of my visits had been welcome and pleasant the last one was unwelcome and unpleasant (at least for me). I had vowed, and been not too politely warned that my presence "wasn't particularly welcome in these parts, and it would be best for my long term health to avoid a return visit." Being a fan of my long term health, I had heeded that warning, and had avoided this place like the plague, for in many ways it is (at least for me). A first glance, and even after a few more glances it passed more as bucolic than bubonic. A gentlemanly neighborhood where you don't have to been situational aware every second of the day. Well that is if you live here, they don't exactly roll out the red carpet for strangers, and certainly not for strangers that happen to be me. I was aware that the non-welcoming committee had probably already spotted me from behind the fancy drapes that covered the big plate glass windows that this lot seemed to favour, but since Felix's pill was about to drop down on me like an anvil from the sky, I had little choice but to wait for all the unpleasantness to happen. Sometimes it doesn't pay to get out of bed sober.
However, the committee was going to have one small problem. My eyelids were getting very, very heavy, and I felt the black pool of darkness open up at my feet, and I dove right in, they would have to carry my fat ass where they wanted me to go. I woke up in a chair in a mostly familiar room. It was like I had been here before, but only briefly and was more intent on other tasks more than memorizing the looks of the place. Pity that, since I am sure, like most places, it had an exit, but I couldn't begin to tell you where it was located. Not that I was going to be looking for the exit anytime soon mind you, it seemed someone wanted me to stay a while and had decided in order for that to happen they had handcuffed me to the chair. Not the happiest of ways to wake up, but I suppose I had seen worse days, or so I hoped. It is a testament to the optimistic nature of mankind that I was foolish enough to think that my situation would have anything but a bad ending, or perhaps I am just a fucking idiot. Either way I was, as is my custom, wrong. I sighed the sigh of the fool that I had become, and waited for my latest tormentor to put in an appearance.
I was in the process of testing the handcuffs to see if they were, in fact, real when my tormentor put in their appearance. "You know they are real GI, you've seen them before. Granted under happier circumstances, but waste not, want not I always say." I suppressed something between a groan and a laugh. "Yes, you've always been a most efficient sort haven't you?" I replied, hoping that this encounter would end better than it started. "An efficient destroyer of things, no wasted motion in you is there?" I figured that I might as well be as big an asshole as my press clippings had made me out to be just to see how she would react. After all, I was handcuffed to a chair with no idea of the way out, and the only coves who knew where I was were Felix and his goons, and since they had delivered me here, I doubted they were going to come riding to my recuse. Felix is the "riding to the recuse type" generally you have to be recused from Felix, not recused by Felix. As I expected the backhanded slap arrived on cue jerking my head sideways with some force. The price you pay for wit these days seems to have gotten higher. "Don't smart me GI, when you smart me I start to think of reasons why you shouldn't be allowed to continue to roam the streets a free man." I rattled my hands in their cuffs, "well if this is your idea of free, maybe you should start working for Felix. To what do I owe this particular pleasure? Have I not abided by the terms of our little "agreement"? Though agreement might not be the correct word, let me rephrase. Have I not done as I was none too gently told?"
She nodded "you have, which I must confess is a bit of a surprise. We all figured that your miles wide self-destructive streak would eventually have you violate the terms you agreed to, and that I would be rid of you by now. Pity that." I arched an eyebrow, "where's the pity in that? You've got your peace of mind, and don't have to worry about me sullying your streets with my foul presence, or damage your reputation further by being seen around you. Sounds like we both win to me." She smiled what seemed to be a rather too large of a smile and replied. "You're correct after a fashion. I have peace of mind up to a certain point, and I confess not seeing you has been wonderful, but you see I don't like win/win situations, I just like to win. You know this, you should remember this, and you should realize that is what is going to happen." I rolled my eyes "what in the blue fuck are you talking about? You get Felix to bring me here, drug me, then drag me in here, not by yourself I am sure, and are making threats to a man handcuffed to a chair that hasn't bothered you in forever. Have you finally lost your fucking mind?" Another slap which at least I felt I deserved was my first answer. I would have preferred it to be the only answer.
"Again with the smart mouth, you never learn do you GI? Always a witty reply like you're some damn hero in a novel waiting to save both the world and the damsel in distress. Well newsflash joy boy, you can't save the world, and I am not a damsel in distress. Though I am about to cause you a great deal of it. Distress that is. You aren't the only one who can be clever." I sighed, "I see, well if you could get on with whatever evilness you have planned for me, that would be great, I pointed my nose down at my watch, I've got plans for a smashing game of tennis at 5, and I am sure my partner would be very disappointed if I failed to show. You see we play for a lot of money per point, and I am dross at tennis, so I am running up quite a debt to them. They would be sad if I were to die owing them all the monies." She laughed "oh, I am aware of how terrible you are at tennis, and I'm afraid you're going to miss your little game today. The 'evilness' as you put it, is going to last well past 5, and after it's done you've another appointment. One I am sure you will just love to keep........" (to be continued again)
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