The Man from the North

 Warning some posts are, as Felix is about to say "as interesting as milk", I fear this one might be less interesting than most, but you have to describe the gray, winter day before you can describe the blizzard/storm that wrecks it and makes it worth remembering. You have been warned.

No one really remembers when the Man from the North first put in an appearance at Sully's. Sully is good at a lot of things, but names and faces isn't one of them. I didn't remember because generally I don't care for newcomers overmuch. As we (not the royal we) put it together later, when we actually were pretending to care, I figured out that I was, at the time we agreed upon his first appearance taking place, very, very busy trying not to die of some sort of plague like disease, that the wags liked to speculate was given to me by some "tart he picked up without remembering it."  There are people at Sully's who do pay attention to newcomers, mainly because Felix pays them to, Felix pays a lot of people to pay attention to newcomers. Felix is the jovial, rich uncle we all wished we had, but Felix is spending other peoples money, and is not particularly jovial. 

Even amongst the "paid to pay attention" crowd the Man from the North barely registered. He didn't appear to be overburdened with friends, and seemingly lacked much in the way of personality. He was, as Felix later said, "as interesting as milk." To which I replied "if you're lactose intolerant milk can make your life very interesting, unpleasant, but still interesting." Felix was not amused, not awful lot amuses Felix, and when Felix is amused it generally means you're about not to be. I was soon to realize, to my cost, that once again Felix knew something I didn't. It is, in my opinion, a particular failing of Felix's the knowing something you don't and probably needed to. I suppose it is what makes him good at his job, that and the ability to keep his mouth shut, even when asked not to. 

Either way, the Man from the North was just that. Some cove from a large city up north that has ideas above its station. It seemed so did the Man from the North. It is rarely a good plan to get ideas above your station. Life has a way of making sure that "water finds its own level" and if it has to make it rain in order to do that, well that's just life making it even. He wasn't much to look at, but then again few of us are. You don't get Adonis like physical specimens in Sully's very often. And even if you do, a few weeks of drinking Sully's finest will put a little softness on the hardest of men. Approachability isn't exactly the best quality to posses in Sully's bar. A certain amount of aloofness is usually the best tactic to employ. After all, the less you know or see, the less you have to testify to later (if such a need arises). Besides, Sully's isn't a social club, it is generally a place that a man (or the occasional woman if she's very brave) comes to drink alone, and try to forget that he (or she) belongs to a society that they loathe. 

I was not without resources of my own, and Felix isn't the only curious man in the city. I like to know a few things about the people that I am going to be "bending the elbow with" even if I am strictly speaking, drinking alone. I don't like surprises, and I don't care for Easter Egg hunts either. My source never one to waste words, merely replied "a perfect grey man." Not a lot of information in that report unless you know what the source meant by "grey man." I had a pretty good idea, but decided that my source was being too laconic even for me, and decided to have a little sit down with them to get the fuller story. The tavern that this particular source haunted made Sully's look like a palace, and served beer that might make you go blind on a permanent basis if you drank enough of it. Luckily, it tasted so bad that I could only stomach about 3 of them. It impaired my vision a bit, but no permanent damage was done, I could still see my own way out of the place.

"Hello sweetie" I said to my source as I plopped down on the bar stool next to them, "how's tricks, got any more information for me on that thing I asked you about earlier?" My source doesn't like pet names, and certainly didn't like being called sweetie out loud in public. I knew this, which is of course, why I did it. A certain amount of aggravation would make them get to the point more quickly, and I wanted to spend as little time as needed in their company, and even less time in their bar drinking what I considered to be something very close to rat poison.  "Stop calling me sweetie, you daft bastard, are you trying to get us a kicking? This isn't the place for that kind of bullshit, and what's more you know it, I should just let them take you out back and stomp some sense into you, but you paid on time, and fairly well, so I suppose I will refrain for the nonce." I smiled, it was the same reply I had heard many times, and I had no doubt I would hear again. A threat is usually only effective the first couple of times, unless you make good on it, after that it just becomes banter. "Now, now there's no need to get all wound up over a term of endearment, it just angers the blood, and isn't good for your long term health."  I pointed at his nearly empty beer glass, "drinking that swill is already enough of a burden for your health to bear." They frowned (they were a great frowner), pulled out an envelope out of their pocket and slid it across the bar towards me. "There is the full story for you to read later, but I'll fill in any details you want now as long as you're buying. You are buying correct?" I nodded to them, and then the bartender ordering us a round. "Yeah, I'm buying, your handwriting is so crabbed that I might as well hear the story first before I hire someone with a permanent squint to try to read what you've written."

 My glass of tavern swill arrived, as did whatever concoction my source was drinking. It was some sort of mixed drink, I didn't inquire as to the ingredients or the price for that matter. The bill is the bill and it just has to be paid, and I figured whatever they were drinking was probably as close to poisonous as the pint in front of me, so what did I care?  "Give me the highlights, I think this swill, and this place is bad for me, and I prefer to enjoy the things bad for me more than I am enjoying this." They nodded and said "Felix would have my head on a platter for this you know? But what Felix doesn't know won't hurt me." I replied "you let me worry about Felix, I will keep your head on your shoulders, just tell me what I need to know." "Okay, GI no need to get all upset, I'll tell you though it isn't much. Not because I didn't try, it just that this Man from the North is just as bland as unsalted butter. He is from _____, but you probably already knew that. He left there at least X years ago, came here, got some nowhere job, and has been busy being a nobody every since. He has committed no crimes, even Felix can tell you that, and has seemingly been living out a lifeof quiet mediocrity. He's not got any special talent like picking locks or anything. Has no major bad habits that would land him in Hotel Felix, and seems to be overall a rather boring piece of meat." 

I nodded, "I've already talked to Felix about this cove, and Felix gave me most of that. I was hoping you had something more interesting." My source finished their drink, and replied "that's just it GI, there isn't anything more interesting. I am telling you this guy is a unremarkable, bland, piece of milquetoast. That doesn't really leave much of an impression or much of a paper trail. He just exists, and it doesn't seem that he has much of a reason for that." I nodded, "well we can't all be super talented gentlemen of means now can we? I mean the vast majority of us just exist for the system to grind up into dust, so I suppose his being just a random piece of gravel in the machine isn't completely his fault." They took a swig of their glass of poison, and said "true, but some of us can at least try to better themselves, this fellow just seems to be there, like a house plant that doesn't need watering very often so you just forget about it. Also, I had the joy of conversating with him a couple of times." I raised my eyes from my pint, "you did what? Have you lost your entire mind? I said to follow the cunt, and find out about him, not engage him in person!" "Now, now GI, settle down, everything is fine. This fellow doesn't know me from Adam, and besides he also "knows me" as a ginger who likes horses a lot. I didn't just saunter up to him and announce myself, give my real name, address, and tell him my reason for talking to him, give me some credit will you?"

I finished my pint, and stood up. I had drank enough of the local poison, and had most of what I needed to know, and still had to read the 'report' my source had prepared. "I am sure you were on your most charming, and discreet behaviour, but it was still a damn silly thing to do. I don't need any tracers of me attaching to this fellow. It's important. I don't want to turn Hotel Felix into my permanent residence." They nodded their assent or their goodbye, I didn't care which. I just turned around and left feeling a little uneasy, but it was probably just the beer/poison working its magic on my digestive system. If only I knew then what I know now, I might have just stayed and drank enough of it to kill me. Because despite his being "as interesting as milk" the Man from the North's part to play in the passion play of my life was far, far from over.