Friday, July 15, 2011


The chubby, cheerful fellow depicted above is Happy Dwarf of Snow White fame.  Notice the grin, notice the girth, I often wonder does one equal the other?  We have another fat guy who goes by the name of Santa Claus who is also pictured as rotund, and jolly. Does fat equal jolly? Or is that just how we like to think? We live in a society that bombards us with adverts for food.  Billboards, TV commercials, radio spots, and all sorts of other media sources slam us with pictures and words about delicious, appetizing food.  We are fast (food) becoming a nation of lard butts. Our individual daily calorie intake would feed a small nation for a week.

Of course, maybe this is a good thing, maybe if we all become a bit chubby, like Santa or Happy Dwarf then we will be jolly, smiling, laughing people as well. It will also make our heart doctors very wealthy people, as if they aren't already. Sadly, I have experience in this field, and I can promise you that fat does NOT equal jolly. Despite most villains being depicted as thin, brooding types,  (ever seen or read about too many fat villains?). I am here to proclaim that fat people can be brooding as well. In fact, I have recently been called a brooding type by more than one person. Happy Dwarf is a two dimensional character. He has the width all right, but he lacks depth, and it is depths that allow true characters to bloom.

Maybe Happy is just happy who knows? All we ever see him doing is smiling or laughing. Maybe he is truly a happy fellow. I am inclined to think that is not true, I (being the brooding type) think that Happy just doesn't think too much about life, and therefore his happiness is based upon a 'let's not think too much about stuff because it will distress me' philosophy that I can not embrace.  Brooding doesn't usually make for jovial (look up where the word jovial comes from,and you will see jovial equal fat/large) companions. Brooding is usually best done alone, you might be in a room full of people, but if you are brooding you are alone. Conversation with a man getting his brood on is desultory at best, at worse it could earn you a punch in the mouth, or a verbal slash from which you stagger away bleeding YOUR happiness all over the ground. 

Perhaps all of us fat bastards just eat so much as a way of coping with our own personal demons. I am pretty sure life looks a lot better after a big plate of smothered tots, and about 90 beers (if you can see at all that is).  Beer, the most wonderful thing in the world, is just empty calories after all, but it does, upon occasion, have the effect of making even fat people jolly. However, it always poses the risk of making a brooding fat guy, just that much more of a brooder.  It is a 50/50 shot as to what effect the alcohol will have, but life is, at its core, a zero sum game, and I guess, given that knowledge, 50/50 is about as good as it is going to get.


Anonymous said...

You mean like this woman?

The Grand Inquisitor said...

no not at all. whomever you are