Monday, January 05, 2009


After receiving a couple of (near) compliments on my ability to write, I decided to go back and re-read some of my older posts. Well, I say re-read, some of them I never actually read all the way through. My defense to not doing that was that I wrote them, I should not be forced to read them. I understand that this is not the best defense, but it is the only one I have. Unlike some people I know, I do not write a "draft" of my posts, and then go back and edit. I probably should, and I commend the people who are dedicated to their craft enough to put in the extra time and effort. I just normally write it all out about ten seconds after I think it. Very much a brain to page kind of exercise. I will, upon occasion, think about a topic I want to blog about for a couple of days, and maybe come up with a brief general outline, but for the most part I just type it as I think it. Looking back on some of my earlier posts horrified me. Some of them are SO very bad, that I cringed, and immediately considering deleting them from my sight. That I could write such dribble shocked me. I am not sure why I was so shocked at the abominations I had created, I certainly understand my limitations when it comes to the written word. Even giving myself some slack (for a change), I still looked at some of those posts, and thought "My god, why did I write that?" "What possessed me to think that any of that made sense, and that anyone, anywhere would want to read it?" However, before I took a battle axe to my blog, and sheared it of all the posts that I believed only a third grader could be proud of authoring, I paused and considered that to do so would be intellectually dishonest. After all, no matter how absolutely horrible those posts are, and in my opinion they are shockingly bad, they still are mine. I can not abort them now that I think I have improved my writing skill. In truth, I am not sure that I have improved my writing skill in any quantifiable way. Perhaps in two weeks when I glance back over this post, I will be just as shocked at the poor quality contained within. Then again I have been accused of being too hard on myself, and I would think that if that applies to anything in my life, it applies to my "writing." I try to do better, I really do. I attempt to avoid too many posts that contain arrant nonsense, but I am clearly not always successful. I can only look back at those old posts and sigh. They are like ugly children, sure they are ugly, sure they are stinky, but for better or worse they are mine, and I can not disown them no matter how hard I try. I suppose even the ugly duckling needs a little love, and maybe with a little more care I can stop producing ugly ducklings and come up with a few lovely little swans.


chall said...

you have several swans so a few ducks on the way just seem reasonable right?

..and who knows, the ducks can be viewed as beautiful by someone too :)

Cynnie said...

You big crybaby..
sometimes we just write shit ..yanno?