Gjudarnsson's Friekorps

 The river, that according to Wilson, God had put there to foil my plans was not some piddling stream that you wade across for kicks on a lazy Sunday afternoon, nor was the baptismal type of river. That is unless you wanted to drown the newly minted converts to the religion you were fooling them into believing in. No, it was a mighty river. Large, wide, and probably full of things that would gladly eat you if you decide you needed to wade/swim across it. Not that swimming was an option. The band of miscreants that I "led" were exactly the swimming type, and no of them needed to be made aware of the fact that there 'glorious leader' (i.e. me) would sink like a stone as soon as the water touched his armpits. I didn't feel the need to advertise my lack of swimming ability, Wilson was already overfond of pointing out my faults and flaws perceived or real, and I did not feel the need to give him any more ammo. Speaking of my erstwhile second in command I looked around for him, one to ask him a question, and two to make sure he wasn't pointing a weapon in my general direction. Did I mention that Wilson had told me how much he loathed me during the one and only time he had been drunk? Every since then I was a little more cautious about presenting my back to him.

However, at the moment Wilson was not leveling an instrument of death at my general direction, but was looking across the raging river before us with a far away look in his eyes. "Penny for your thoughts Wilson" I said as I came up to him. He shook his head seemingly startled by my appearance, and replied "I doubt you'd want to pay even that much for them sir." I narrowed my eyes "sir now is it? When did we become so formal Wilson? Have you decided to finally start giving me the respect which I have done nothing to deserve?" Wilson just smiled and said "I was just thinking about the river, and how the girl that I love(d) is on the other side." This bit of news came as a sudden shock to me like something throwing me a fish at me out of nowhere and yelling "catch". "Girl that you love? Wilson this is news, I had no idea you were capable of human feelings. I had you pegged as all gears and mechanisms on the inside like a mechanical Turk or other such automaton." Wilson let out a small sigh "no ____ (better to call me by name now I guess) I have feelings just like the rest of the carbon based life forms on this planet." 

If Wilson had told me that his mother was an octopus I would have been less shocked. A girl? That he love(d)? I had figured Wilson for a 'different' sort of life style (not that there's anything wrong with it), and was intrigued about what member of the fairer sex could possibly interest Wilson for longer than it takes to make a sandwich. "Well, Wilson this is a problem for all of us as well, because the job we have been paid to do is also on the other side of that river." I didn't really want to tell him that it was the reaction to a woman's rejection that had led me to becoming his glorious leader, no need to get to chummy with the fellow who I was pretty sure wanted to kill me in my sleep. "Well Wilson, if you can somehow puzzle out a way to get out merry band of morons across that river, perhaps you and your beloved can stage a happy reunion." I raised a hand before he could reply, "and don't try to tell me you have a plan. The last time you had a plan, I had to shoot our engineer for thinking he could get us into Tessenow." 

Wilson winced at being reminded of that particular overwhelming failure, and said "well ___ there used to be a bridge somewhere close to here that would probably, if it still stands, be the best means of crossing." "Well, Wilson that would be grand, since I shot Jackson after Tessenow, we find ourselves sans engineer. So a gentle walk across a flat bridge would be a lovely way to pass the afternoon. Lead on MacDuff to this bridge of sighs of which you speak." Wilson nodded his assent, "if I have my location correct, it should be about 5 miles south of here, an simple walk for such stout men as ourselves sir." I sighed figuring that Wilson didn't mean stout to imply that we had grown fat. "Well let's get everyone still sober pointed in the direction of this bridge, and see how long we shall have to wait for the drunken stragglers to show up shall we?" Wilson nodded his assent, and set about making it happen. He might want to do unnatural things to my sister, and want me to die in a fire, but Wilson was a very good second in command, godsdamn him to hell. 

A lovely, by that I mean shitty, five mile "walk" later we came to the location of the bridge that Wilson had figured would solve all our problems. Well at least the problems that presented themselves on this side of the fucking river of death we were facing. As we clear the forest that blocked our view of the river and the bridge of salvation that Wilson had promised us, I begin to wonder why this seemed to be way too easy. No one on this side of river had tried to kill us, and it seemed no one was paying any particular attention to us. This should have been a sign of things to come, but you know why ruin a perfectly good 5 mile walk with thoughts of a bleak future?

As we rounded the corner, and cleared the trees blocking our view of the river we came upon the view that I was dreading from the start. It was a lovely view if one likes views of broken bridges and raging rivers. As one would expect if one has the luck I posses the bridge that Wilson counted on getting us across the river was in pieces in the aforementioned river. I seriously doubted our ability to cross this non bridge, and I was beginning to wonder if maybe we had brought shame upon the name of Gjudarnsson's Friekorps, when Wilson whispered to me "don't despair boss, I've an idea."

to be continued