Stylo

I am not a writer, nor will I ever become one. I have never been published, unless you count 'published' as either this blog or certain things I have written about my boss' (lack of) sexual prowess, and my ex's phone number (for a good time call) on certain bathroom walls. I doubt that is published in the conventional usage of the word, and I doubt that some desperate press will come, and take me away from my day job, and make me an author anytime soon.

However, I do read a lot, and I read a lot of obscure stuff. I like to think my reading is fairly extensive, and diverse enough to allow me to recognize both good and bad writing when I see it (or rather read it). That being said I have spent the lack few days reading a book who's author won the Nobel Prize for Literature. It wasn't solely for this book, but he didn't write a terrible lot of books, so I figure this book, in theory, had a lot to do with his winning the prize all author's aspire to win. I won't name this fellow by name, since I don't want to slander anyone. I will say that he is dead, which might not be a bad thing, and at some point in this post (though I won't tell you where) I will use the title of the book I have been reading by him.

Simply put, the book is awful. I mean that in the best possible way, but it is awful. The writing is a bit turgid, and the story is really nothing to get excited about. In my humble opinion a good book needs a least 2 of the following 3 things (at least). Good writing, good characters, or a good story. Those are the 3 basic things a book needs, in my opinion, to be 'good'. You can get by with a weakness in one category if you make it up with more strength in another. For example if your characters are a bit weak, or unsympathetic, then you better be a really good wordsmith, or have a really good story. It is hard to do, or we would all be in the running for the Grand Prize, but I (and call me old fashioned) think that a fellow who wins the Nobel Prize should be able to churn out a book that meets these requirements.

Of course, I am not on the selection committee, nor will I ever be, but I figure that I have read enough to be able to judge a book's worth. At least its worth to me, which is mainly all I care about, me.  This book fails in all three categories mentioned above. The writing, by that I mean the sentence structure, the imagery, the actual words used, is adequate at best. The author is able to describe a scene well enough, and does fairly well with dialogue, but it is nothing special. It is workmanlike at best. Which would be fine, if the other two needs were met. Sadly (for me, the reader) they are not. Not a single character in the book (and I will admit I gave up after half way, but if you are waiting until after half way to introduce your first decent character, you are requiring quite an act of faith from your reader), is in any way, sympathetic or a character you feel any sort of connection to. I don't need heroic characters, in some ways a good villain is a lot more fun to have around, but I need a character who's appearance on the page doesn't make me groan with despair.

This book, that helped this fellow win the Nobel fucking Prize lacks any single character that makes me care even they are mentioned ever again. That is not a good sign. The story which I won't detail so as not to give away the book isn't particularly good either. There is no real mystery to the plot, no reason for this story to really be told. I am sure that the author is trying to tell his readers something, and maybe I am just too dense to 'get it' but I figure that if I don't get it neither will a lot of people. It is great to be vague (I should know), but at some point a story has to be told, one that makes the reader want to get to the end. It doesn't have to be action packed, or some great mystery solved, or full of explosions, but there needs to be a story that keeps me interested especially if your characters stink, and your writing is average.

Like I said, my opinion, is just that my opinion, and isn't worth the time it has taken to type this little rant, but I feel a bit cheated in the end because I know/hope that if this guy can win the Nobel Prize for this crap, then maybe I need to quit the day job, run off to Paris, and write my own novel. I lack the courage ( I think to do this), but after reading this dross of a book, maybe it isn't such a far fetched idea after all.  Free copies will of course be provided to my massive readership, that should get rid of a least 4 copies.