Thursday, May 21, 2009

Ah! Leonardo!

"You don't understand me because I am a Renaissance man, and you have never crossed paths with one before." Click and a dial tone. Hmm odd reaction this was a local call on that antique we call a "land line." Must be some sort of mistake, I thought. Re ring the person whom I was having yet another of our landmark fights with, and nothing. No answer, no response, nada, rien, not jack shit. Well I suppose they are a little peeved, and will eventually come to see that they are over reacting. Call back another couple of times, still nothing just an answering machine. Well then I see this is going to be more awkward that I first thought, too bad. Here I thought we were getting along like a house on fire. One little off the cuff, smart ass remark later, and it dawns on me that perhaps things were not sailing as smoothly as I thought. Hours pass, and I am not counting rehearsing all the very bad things I am going to say when they call back. Not going to be a pleasant time for them certainly, might just have to throw some oil on this bridge, strike a match, and watch it burn from the opposite shore. Granted the entire "relationship" that I have had with this person has been usual. From the way I met them till the moment the phone slammed down in my ear after my glib remark. Mostly a distance relationship, both geographically, and emotionally speaking at least at first. However, at the time of the hang up we are local to one another. Should I drive to her house, and ask what the blue fuck is wrong? Why are you taking one silly remark, and making it your "last stand." Seems a bit of a waste to me, but then again I have never really understand either the depth or width of this relationship. Of course I have no clue, after all relationships are my kryptonite, the one thing (yeah right just one) at which I am naturally bad at. Lucky for me huh? I would at least hope the other person would have some clue, but they seem to be unavailable for comment at the moment. In fact, they remain unavailable for comment for almost a year. Nothing for almost a year! All over one comment. Geez, talk about holding a grudge. Things were not all sunshine and teddy bears when communication is reestablished either. Needless to say I have my own grudge nursed up to a fine pitch after a year. Things remain a bit tense for a bit, then the Great Thaw. A trip almost around the world, and things for a brief time are right in the world. Then as usual for these kinds of things, I manage to hit the red button that is clearly marked "DO NOT PUSH." Just to be safe, let's push it twice. Off I go to flake ville, a place in which I have a summer home, and now it is my turn for radio silence. Gads what is wrong with me? What is it about this relationship that just can not seem to take flight? First it is me, then it is them, then it is me again. Jesus H. Christ what kind of buffoons are we? This is not rocket science, how hard can it be for two fairly intelligent people (one a Renaissance man) to put two and two together, and get four? Man can walk on the moon, but we can't have a decent, normal time without someone pulling the plug, and walking off in a huff like an overwrought actor? Well this calls for absolute revenge. This time it is my turn to wander off into the wilderness of silence. Even going so far as to pen a obituary for the friendship that could not be. I will show this fool how to maintain radio silence! Bah to them and to all their kind. Who needs them? But now she is dead, and lying in a pine grove, and I am left here to sort out the remains of the day. Clearly, this was not meant to be, but did it have to end on such a sour note? Ponder on that the next time you and your beloved get into a tiff about who should take out the trash, and you say something cruel to them as they walk out the door on the way to work. Are you ok with the idea that the last thing may ever say to them is "go fuck yourself!" At least kiss and make up before your partner hits the door with anger in their heart after all nothing is scared we pay for the violence of our ancestors.

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Fascinatingly insightful. It's so sad that she died, though.