Can't Get Right

To steal a song title from one Joe Purdy, I just can't seem to get right today. However, unlike the sad sack bastard in that song, my ability to not "get right" has had an extended run. It seems that weeks have gone by without one thing going right while everything else I touch falls to shit in spectacular fashion. I work in the Domestic Violence Unit of my office, and I get exposed to a lot of people in bad situations, and people who are not the most truthful in the world. That being said, I have still managed to "make" three women cry this week, and it is only Wednesday. The Kleenex company should sign me to a three year contract. A few words from me and volia the tears start to flow like a water hydrant. It is very fun. Like most males I do not deal well with women would cry directly in front of me. It is like they are on fire, I just want to put them out, and make it stop and will do what is necessary to make that happen. Though this is not the only disaster that I have achieved in the last month or so. If I were a scientist I would have given half the population cancer by now. My luck has been that bad. If I were a baseball player I would have struck out every at-bat. I feel as if I could not hit water if I fell out of a boat. It is like I am 7 seconds behind on everything I do. A few degrees left of center, and that makes all the difference. Plans that would normally go smoothly collapse like a house of cards as soon as I become involved. Even if told backwards the last month or so of my life would still be a comedy of errors. The lovely part of it is I see no way through this particular bad patch. It is like the more I struggle the more I become entwined in a web of my own failings. Ships sink, planes fall out of the sky, horses come up lame, wells go dry, crops fail, and it seems that most of it is somehow my fault. If I light a match, somehow the whole bloody house burns down. It is best not to get to close to me because I am not certain that this disaster disease I have is not contagious. Even this post "read" much better in my head than when I wrote it down, and that I think is my cue to draw the curtain, and hope for a change in fortune. I guess it could be worse, it could be raining.