Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Be your own Frog Prince

Take yourself down to your local, do not forget to invite the people you are presently calling friends. I say presently because that is what this post is about. Present friends, old friends, new friends, dead friends, and undiscovered friends. When you and that group of people you called get to your local, and have that nice cold pint in front of yourselves take a look around. Are these people (your friends) the people you knew when you were 20? 25? 30? 35?. Will they be the people you still call to meet you for a drink when you are 40 or 45? Will any of them attend your funeral? Will you attend theirs? Have you wandered so far from the person you were 10 years ago that you have replaced your entire "set" of friends? Is there one old familiar face? Like a well broken in baseball mitt that you keep around as a friend in order to hold onto the past. Who among this group is the longest serving friend, and is that the friend you like or trust the most? Or is it that this is the group that you prefer to drink a pint with? If that call you placed earlier was to go to the movies, or to a concert, would that call be placed to different people? Take out your cell phone scroll the numbers how many of them would have been there when you were 5 years younger. How many times have you moved in the last five years? Do you have a place you call home or is home just where you happen to be living right now? (sadly for me the latter is true). Take a good look around would any of these people be "friends" if you were taken out of the group. Did you create this group of friends or did you just join it, and your presence would be missed but would be dealt with. How long would it take the memory of you to fade? How long would it be before they started mentioning your name less often till at last you are erased like a drawing in the sand at high tide? Is there one amongst this group that you feel a stronger bond with? One that you would tell things that you could tell your family pictures? One that knows that you are full of addictions, contradictions, and fucking fictions? Do you serve that purpose for any of them or are you like a passenger on a train, only here for the ride, and waiting to get off at your appointed stop? "Sorry lad, it has been a real pleasure being your friend but here we are at Paddington Street, and I must be off." "Keep in touch, call me we will have drinks or something."
Knowing full well that you are muttering the things you are supposed to mutter, and it will be sublime centuries before you see this person again, or want to for that matter. Are these "friends" of yours good people? Do you deserve them? More importantly do they deserve you? Are you a good friend? Certainly most of us think we are good friends, who would want to be a bad friend? Have the friends that we thought were so very together now off in search of fair weather? Is this search for fairer weather a mass exodus, or do they just drift off one by one till you glance around and think you are reliving the water fountain scene from Ocean's 11?


Donna said...

At 20 (your age), I had not yet made your acquaintance. And, in all honesty, I was 14. *gasp*

At 25 (your age), I suppose this would have been when we first met. (Damn that is a long time ago.)

At 30 (your age), well...this would be where you made one of the gravest errors in your history as a man.

At 35 (HAS to be your age because I'm thankfully not there yet), we seemed to have settled into an electronic friendship. Hmmmp. That sucks - no pints for table to share stories over (though if it is as benign as it sounds, I'm glad I'm missing it) bar in which to ogle the girls together either. Damn the bad luck that still seems to be with us today.

And though the above time line displays no real sense of contemplation, you should at least be aware I gave this post more than just a passing thought. Very puzzling indeed.

Cynnie said...

I suck as a friend..
I call when i call , I show up when i show up.

I'm selfish and self involved.
but if you( my friend) called needing me, I'd be there on the quickest flight..
my best friend has been my BF for over 20 years..
she accepts me like i am..

the only people who would deeply mourn me are my family..
I'm a legend in my family..

eh..self examination blows

tideliar said...

Me...I'm just an asshole :)

Like most of us, so self-absorbed with my shit, I find I relegate worrying about other things like friends, to moments of quiet lying bed at night. And then, racked with guilt, can't sleep. Get up late, screw up at work again, so self-absorbed no time for an email or a hello. Ad infinitum.

Cynnie said...

and who in hell is this Donna ?

: )

Lindsay said...

Ditto what Tideliar said.


How have you been?

Lindsay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Grand Inquisitor said...

cyn- ask her yourself, she will tell you.

tidy-some dear boy a hello is all it takes

lindsay-been fine, where have you been?

Cynnie said...

the GI himself ?
we're so honored

Lindsay said...

i've been working my ass off. We're in the middle of our second court term this year (we ride the circuit so I'm in Starkville through next week) and have already had two trials. It's ridiculously busy. Oh, and we don't have computers. Well, our paralegal has one and our Victim/Witness coordinator has one but if I want a computer at work I bring my laptop. I only just yesterday got someone to hook me into the network so that I have internet access. Not much time to get online and say hey. :^( The flip side is that I LOVE work. Busy and stressful, yes, but waaaay better than sitting at home doing nothing. We need to catch up soon. do you have my gmail email addy?