She slid her quite lovely ass into booth across from me, and gave me a overly bright smile. "Afternoon lover boy, how are you doing? Next week is your birthday? Feeling any closer to shuffling off this mortal coil? Have you named an heir to the ____ Empire yet? Not that I expect there is much to inherit other than unpaid bar tabs." I looked over at her, there was a time when looking at her was my full time job, a job I took with just a shade too much seriousness before it all went pear shaped, and ended in tears (mostly mine, I am not sure she is capable of crying). Nowdays I was merely content with seeing her from a distance, generally a distance greater than the one currently between us. "I pay my debts. Well, eventually I pay my debts. I have yet to have Sully claim any of my possessions in form of payment." She let out a giggle, "your possessions are a lot of books that no one other than you would ever want to read. What would Sully do with them? Open a reading library for the drunk and cynical? Or maybe a primer for how to plan a failed revolution?" I laughed "none of the above sweetie, Sully knows my reading habits, in fact the bastard has read most of them himself. But I am not here to read Pilgrim's Progress, I am here to find that old familiar drunken feeling, you know something that I can count on to the end, unlike you."
I sighed, " and yes it is my birthday next week. A day, which I might add, you helped me celebrate a few times in the past by each of us ending up in our birthday suits. Any chance that is why you are here today? One more trip around the bases for old times sake?" She smirked "not bloody likely lover boy, my new man might be a bit upset about that." I laughed "well we don't want to upset anybody now do we? That would just be a damn shame. So, exactly why are you here? To gloat about new boy toy? To rub it in that you won our dirty little war? We drifted apart for a reason, mainly you, so why don't you do exactly that and drift." A look of shock crossed her face, and I must confess I felt a little bit of joy about that. The fact that I could still shock her all these years later meant something. Granted, I had no idea what it meant, but I knew it meant something. Perhaps a shot of whiskey would help me figure it out.
She recovered her composure quickly enough, "I know you will find this hard to believe since you don't really believe in anything, but I do want what is best for you. I just wish you would figure out what is best for you" and pointing at my glass "before that swill kills you." I laughed "this swill as you put it, is about the only thing I want for my birthday. Not a new horse, a new gun, and certainly not a new you." I lifted my glass and swirled the amber liquid around slowly, you see even when whiskey lets me down, and it has several times in the past, at least it has the decency to get me drunk first." I continued "besides I can at least afford the whiskey it merely costs money, I can not afford another you, you cost people their souls."
She sniffed "always the brooding poet on that shit aren't you? You stopped making me happy, the skies became a lot greyer, and you took my sunshine away. That is why I left, this can not be a surprise to you." I laughed "and you call me Shakespeare? that was one of the most sadly eloquent things I've ever heard you say. Usually you saved your eloquence for roundly cursing me for the nine kinds of fool you thought me to be." She shrugged "you are decidedly still nine kinds of a fool, but thankfully for the cosmos, you are no longer my fool to corral. The only reason I even remember it's your birthday is because you always referred to it as half-christmas, which from a pagan I always thought funny."
"I don't exactly consider myself a pagan. It's not that I don't believe in god(s), I've just yet to accept their terms. Therefore, while we remain in negotiations about the terms of any worship/boon granting, I shall continue to find faith in nothing other than whiskey." I exhaled "other than coming here to celebrate me being a year closer to the grave, why are you here? It's not like we are getting the band back together, neither of us are going to change into the person the other one needs, and to be honest, you just make me sad. I look at you and see the what ifs of my history writ large in very, very bright letters that even at my drunkest I could read. I see the past we share and the future we should have had but for...." Here I trailed off, there was no need to say the same shit to her again all it did was give her an odd type of joy.
She rolled her lovely eyes and said "to be such a well read man, you can be as thick as two boards. Of course the band is getting back together, our past is just that past, we don't have a future, well at least together, and I figure with another birthday your future is dwindling away. So I thought that perhaps you'd have enough sense to understand why I am here. I guess, as usual, I have overestimated you." She stood to go with a slight frown on her face, but I waved her back down. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, you're telling me you've an actual reason to be here other than to torment me, and remind me how you want me to die in fire?"
She sighed "yes Shakespeare, I am here for an actual reason, and it isn't to set you alight in some sort of reenactment of a Viking funeral, at least not yet. You'd probably be better off dead if you were to take the starring role in that act. I know it's hard for you but try to think. Think about it from your own point of view. If the roles were reversed why would you be here?" She stood up, and it began to dawn on me "but just in case the whiskey has addled the little sense you have left, here's a clue, and she slowly so very slowly unbuttoned two of the top buttons on her blouse. I don't need your mouth for the pretty words Shakespeare, I've other plans for it and you. Your tab is paid, and let's get out of here so we can go some place quiet like where you can unwrap your present, me."
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